so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
