we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
