Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Success! We fucked roommates!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
