Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
