There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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