So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
