i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
