all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
