You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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