Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
