franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
