I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
