i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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