Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
