There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
