Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
