It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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