the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
