I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
