oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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