I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
