her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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