No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
