her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
