white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
