wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
