I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
