listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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