He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
