He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
