Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
