if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
