People in love make me want to vomit
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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