You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
