He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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