i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
