no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Even my vagina gasped.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
