East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
