I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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