He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
