I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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