so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
