You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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