i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
