is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
