K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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