I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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