I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
