you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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