apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
